Not a Size 0, Yet Still Confident

The Hollywood Size 0...  ever heard of that saying?

For the passed hour, I've been watching a documentary by BBC called, Super Slim Me (Found it on youtube).  I actually found this program through one of my favorite youtubers...and the title of the documentary caught my attention!  The host of the program is named Dawn Porter, and in the first part of the documentary...she talked about the Hollywood Size 0.  She mentioned how everyone wanted to be a size 0...how many girls wanted to look like Victory Beckham...Lindsay Lohan...and Nicole Richie..., and how she wanted to undergo the process of becoming a size 0 in 8 weeks...which meant she would have to lose 20+ pounds in 8 weeks....(which meant she would have to go through an intense diet..of only consuming 500 calories a day).  The documentary actually opened my eyes to a lot of things, and I guess it kind of made me think about my story with weight, and how I feel about the Hollywood Size 0..lol 

Video Below:

So here's my story: 

So around 4 years ago, achieving a size 0 meant the world to many people.  A lot of young girls and women looked up to those "models" who walked on stage, wearing beautifully designer clothes during fashion shows.  I've always been pretty deprived with what goes on in society, so I guess I didn't know the extent people went to become thin.  To become a size 0...

Growing up in an Asian based community, people were naturally more towards the slender side...so not many of my friends really spoke of losing weight.  Being 5'4" at that time, and weighing around 135lbs when I was in 9th grade, I was considered chubby compared to my best friend who was around 5'2", and weighed less than 100lbs!  Though she never rubbed her weight in front of my face, it was set pretty clear between us that she was a size 0 and I was a size 7...with her wearing a size XS/S, and me wearing a size Medium for sure!  I wanted to be skinnier...but honestly...I could of cared less.  I was happy, and I really didn't find the need to lose weight.  Two years passed by...and I guess my baby weight dropped.  I dropped 20lbs, and weighed 105lbs on my scale... that was the skinniest I've ever gotten, and I never want to get back to that.  

Because it didn't take me a diet to lose weight...like it does for some celebrities, I wasn't feeling weak or depressed...or anything like that.  Despite feeling alright..I knew dropping 20lbs in a few months wasn't healthy at all, and I just felt unflattering in clothes.  I went from a size 7...to a size 1...and I guess part of me was happy, but the logical side of me knew I didn't look good being that skinny.  

At that time, Christina went to Taiwan, and through keeping in touch, I had told her that I lost a lot of weight.  Despite knowing I lost weight, she didn't know the extent of it until she visited me to give me my birthday present when she came back from vacation.  Seeing her best friend in a few months... she was really surprised seeing how skinny I became.  I was sitting in front of her eating...and she looked at me worriedly, and said "Wing, your arms are so skinny, they look toothpicks"...even my dad said my arms looked like chopsticks. =(  My bust size shrunk like crazy =( LOL... and yeah I think I even went to a 25 inch waist....crazy!  But for some reason...my ribs weren't popping, and I didn't look like a skeleton!  I looked alright, but I knew that I'd look even better if I gained some weight.  

The picture above shoes how skinny I was after I lost weight.  (I was in 11th grade) Some people nowadays might even think that I looked fat..but to be honest..I really think I could have used a few pounds back then!  It was interesting...cause my best friend at that time...actually got a crazy growth spurt, and grew like 4 inches in 2 years...and became a size Medium.  That's not the interesting part.  The interesting part was she came up to me one day...and told me "Wing..it's so weird you're a size Small and I'm a Medium... I'm so used to you being bigger than me."  She didn't like herself being a size Medium...and it kind of made me feel a little taken aback...cause it made me realize that though she never called me fat...she never wanted to end up my size...and I wasn't even fat!!  lol...yah that was the interesting incident.  

Anyway, I'm currently a size 3-5 right now.  I gained 10 pounds from my skinniest, and I know I'm much healthier than I was before.  

I honestly think everyone is beautiful in their own way!  I really don't think the number on the scale or a pant size matters.  I personally judge myself more on how I look as opposed to letting some numbers on my scale sadden me.  It's not a size or weight that's important, it's health that's most important.  As long as a person is healthy and looks healthy and weighs  healthy (according to science...so the BMI)!!...it's really not important what some magazine says is ideal.... 

Peer Pressure is probably going to exist forever.  I don't think anyone is ever going to be 100% happy with their body..cause we are our worst critiques!  But I hope that for those who want to be a size 0 and look a certain way that is considered "Perfect"...that what is considered "Perfect"...really isn't.  What is "Perfect" are all opinions that are made by society...and we are perfect in our own way.  =)